My 2018 New Year’s Resolution has taught me I can be consistent and stay on track to reach my goals. This year, I’m giving myself an even bigger challenge. In fact, it’s a challenge I’m not 100% sure I can overcome.
I am an addict. I’ve always been prone do addiction, but have quit all addictive substances, and people, and relationships, and everything else we can, and tend to get addicted to, except for sugar. This year I realized, and truly accepted, that I am addicted to sugar, and that it’s making me sick. I am deliberately harming myself by consuming so much sugar (let me paint a picture – I eat from 150 – 250g of milk chocolate per day, and there’s other sweets, too). I feel like I’m only eating this much because I’m ‘not supposed to’ due to my chronic gastritis. Sugar really makes the heart burn so much worse, making my stomach flood with acid. I realize sugar is bad for my health, I understand it would be good for me to eat less of it. I want to eat less of it. SO WHY CAN’T I?
There are many studies on the ‘sugar addiction’ topic. I’ve read a lot, and frankly, I don’t know if I can form a firm opinion out of that. They all seem mostly speculation and wild guesses, and of course some of them also have real scientific physical proof backing them up, too. I decided to take everything I read into consideration, but I didn’t let it cloud my judgment. Instead, I carefully listened to my body, paying close attention to my reactions to sugar, and so I came to the conclusion I am addicted to it.
There are many forms of addiction, and mental ones can be just as hard to overcome as physical ones, and that’s why I don’t really care about any studies. I feel lost. Even thinking of quitting sugar makes my skin crawl. I hate the thought of it. And that is exactly why I NEED TO DO IT. I need to quit sugar to prove to myself I am stronger than sugar, to give myself confirmation I am still in charge. And if not, because right now I don’t feel in charge at all, to get back in charge! I’m doing this for me. I’m doing this because I love myself enough to take good care of my body and mind. I am doing this because I believe in myself, even if the challenge seems too big right now. I can do this, and I am going to. In 2019, I am quitting sugar.
Here’s my plan:
2. FRUIT AND HONEY IS OKI love fresh fruit, and honey is basically medicine. I feel good after eating it, energized and full, but not ‘sick’. I will definitely enjoy trading the things listed above for fresh yummies!
3. NOT RESTRICTING HIDDEN SUGARSI will still eat bread, pasta, and other carbs. I still want to be able to eat whatever I like, and eating wheat is also quite natural for humans (at the end of the day, wheat is the one thing homo sapiens has been eating since almost forever, and we were doing just fine), as long as it’s not processed too much. I will try to stick to whole wheat products, which will be easy for me because I prefer them anyway :D
I will share my progress monthly here on my blog, as well as on Instagram. I’m scared, but I need to at least try and give it my best. Quitting sugar will probably be one of the bigger challenges I’m going to face in my life. I can’t wait to dive right in!
So this is my one resolution, but I also have many aspirations and goals regarding my daily life:
-becoming more patient,
-practicing acceptance and mindfulness,
-expressing proper emotions at given moments (don't cry if you're angry, yell!),
-go on a one week vacation,
-even if you're mad, or in a bad mood, speak your mind, but always be kind,
and I plan on making loads of other small changes through the year.
Let me know if you want to join me. The more the merrier!
DID I STICK TO MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION?
I did! I am so happy to be able to say I DID IT! In 2018 I haven’t bought a single piece of clothing, shoes, bags, or anything else! There are a couple things I got as presents, but even accepting them felt wrong (I know it isn’t, I didn’t ask for any of them). Here’s the list of what I got as gifts from my mom:
-1 jacket (‘to keep me warm this winter’ because there’s ‘nothing in my closet’ haha, we all know how moms get)
-2 knit sweaters (exact same reason)
-a hat (same reason again)
-1 shirt she got me in summer
What I bought and I feel it doesn’t count, because IT WAS MY WEDDING, and also we decided to get married after I made this resolution, and didn’t want it to affect how I feel on my wedding day. So I got:
-A wedding dress, and a reception dress (both hand made here in Slovenia)
-wedding and reception shoes
-a silver ring I had made for sentimental reasons
-a golden ring for publishing my first book
That’s it, not an item more. I am so proud of myself for pulling this off. It feels amazing to know I didn’t pollute the planet fashion-wise (almost) at all this year! It also feels liberating otherwise - the freedom of walking through the city not feeling pressured to buy anything. The lightness of acknowledging what I have is enough, and I don’t need more. This year I really learned the difference between ‘want’ and ‘need’. And it is a lesson I sincerely recommend to everyone.
WHAT I LEARNED
More of everything doesn’t make me happy. The ‘new arrivals’, or ‘trending items’ or sales or whatever don’t fulfill me. Buying new stuff doesn’t make me a better person. It offers me a moment of happiness, but that fades quickly. The most important thing I learned this year is that we don’t only do ‘instant fashion’. We’ve applied the principles of buying new stuff, wearing it once, or five, or ten times maybe, then discarding it & getting more new stuff, to people. We developed ‘instant relationships’. When we stop finding people useful, or they stop meeting our needs and offering us satisfaction, we discard them, and ‘get new ones’. We don’t think about feelings anymore, because we feel everything can and will be replaced. That is what the modern fashion industry has taught us. And I think everyone reading this realizes just how terribly wrong that is. We have completely lost real touch with ourselves and other people. By ‘real’ I mean the fact that most of our daily lives is happening on social media, and that scares the shit out of me.
I will never be part of the big fashion corporations again. From now on I will only buy what I need, or what I really wished for for a long time. I will not give in to temptations of the moment I see a wonderful jacket, or a gorgeous pair of jeans. I will remain mindful about where I shop, and how much.
This year has given me so much. I am so grateful for everything that’s happened, and to myself for letting it happen. I am happy I stuck to my resolution, because it really has been an unforgettable experience that made me appreciate what I have, and the people in my life, so much more. 2018 has been good. 2019 will be even better. I am forever moving forward, and it is the most liberating thing in the world. I feel grounded and in touch with myself. And I wish the same for all of you.
Stay tuned for my 2019 resolution, it’s a really big one this year!!
It's been a while, right? I've been working on some personal projects (telling you more SO SO SO SOON), but I made sure to never forget a big porridge bowl for a wholesome breakfast. Today I made cinnamon-turmeric porridge with yogurt for the first time, and it tasted amazing! Definitely having that again soon. Otherwise I'm a little disappointed in me regarding my eating habits, I had so much sugar again this week after doing so well in the past month. I have to get back on track and control my sugar intake!! I love myself enough now to nourish my body and take good care of myself. But I know these 'mistakes' are part of my recovery, and I feel so lucky to be able to experience it all! Yes, it is hard, but it has also given me so much. I really believe that everything happens for a reason! So my goal for December is definitely a lot of good food, and a lot of good mood!
And here's the recipe for my yummy breakkie:
1cup rolled oats
1tsp ground turmeric
1/2tsp ground ginger
1 1/2cup water
a pinch of salt
mix all ingredients in a pan and bring to a boil
1 1/2tbsp peanut butter
1tbsp blueberry jam
chia, sunflower, and pumpkin seeds
Talk soon, enjoy!